1
00:00:00,142 --> 00:00:02,342
Psst! Psst! Psst! Galavant.
2
00:00:02,343 --> 00:00:04,376
Galavant! Galavant, wake up.
3
00:00:04,377 --> 00:00:05,843
G-Galavant! Wake up!
4
00:00:05,845 --> 00:00:07,146
I have incredible news!
5
00:00:07,147 --> 00:00:08,547
Ugh!
6
00:00:08,548 --> 00:00:09,948
Is that news that you've
misplaced your toothbrush?
7
00:00:09,949 --> 00:00:12,051
[Laughs] Zinger! No.
8
00:00:12,052 --> 00:00:14,119
No, you know how today we're heading
into the land of the Giants
9
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,454
to offer them the Jewel of Valencia
10
00:00:15,455 --> 00:00:17,489
in exchange for joining our
quest to save Princess Isabella?
11
00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:19,691
Yes, we discussed it last night
in great detail.
12
00:00:19,692 --> 00:00:21,660
There's no need for your clunky exposition.
13
00:00:21,661 --> 00:00:24,363
Well, I have managed to trade the jewel
14
00:00:24,364 --> 00:00:26,065
for something even better than an army.
15
00:00:26,266 --> 00:00:27,966
You traded the jewel?
16
00:00:27,967 --> 00:00:29,601
Yep. For a dragon.
17
00:00:29,602 --> 00:00:31,136
Can you believe it?
18
00:00:31,137 --> 00:00:33,505
Imagine how our foes will run in terror!
19
00:00:33,506 --> 00:00:35,607
Well, I mean, once he grows a little.
20
00:00:35,608 --> 00:00:38,844
I'm going to call him Tad Cooper...
21
00:00:38,845 --> 00:00:41,947
A name that evokes strength
and valor and bravery.
22
00:00:41,948 --> 00:00:43,148
What do you think?
23
00:00:43,149 --> 00:00:45,584
I think you're a complete idiot,
24
00:00:45,585 --> 00:00:47,419
and you're taking it back.
25
00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:48,520
Now.
26
00:00:48,521 --> 00:00:50,122
But, no, I ca... I can't.
27
00:00:50,123 --> 00:00:51,556
I pinkie swore and said "no backsies."
28
00:00:51,557 --> 00:00:54,259
You do realize that without
a jewel, I have no army,
29
00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:57,195
and without an army, I have no
chance of rescuing Isabella.
30
00:00:57,196 --> 00:00:59,431
Well... Hey, where you going?
31
00:00:59,432 --> 00:01:01,967
To find the Giants... Without you.
32
00:01:01,968 --> 00:01:03,502
What? Why?
33
00:01:03,503 --> 00:01:05,570
Because I am done.
34
00:01:05,571 --> 00:01:07,906
I am done cleaning up your mess.
35
00:01:07,907 --> 00:01:10,008
I am done telling you that
it's not your fault,
36
00:01:10,009 --> 00:01:12,244
because... news flash,
Richard... it is your fault.
37
00:01:12,245 --> 00:01:14,746
I'm done with your weakness,
with your whining,
38
00:01:14,747 --> 00:01:15,647
but most of all,
39
00:01:15,648 --> 00:01:18,717
I am done with you!
40
00:01:18,718 --> 00:01:20,352
Okay.
41
00:01:20,353 --> 00:01:22,788
I admit, I'm on a bit of an unlucky streak,
42
00:01:22,789 --> 00:01:25,424
but I am destined for great things.
43
00:01:25,425 --> 00:01:26,792
You'll see.
44
00:01:26,793 --> 00:01:28,794
You have about as much chance
of great things
45
00:01:28,795 --> 00:01:31,263
as that lizard does of breathing fire.
46
00:01:31,264 --> 00:01:35,033
It's a dragon, and it can breathe fire.
47
00:01:35,034 --> 00:01:37,135
Show him, Tad Cooper!
48
00:01:37,136 --> 00:01:39,104
Show him.
49
00:01:39,105 --> 00:01:41,106
Come on.
50
00:01:41,107 --> 00:01:42,708
The perfect pair...
51
00:01:42,709 --> 00:01:45,377
A dragon that isn't a dragon...
52
00:01:45,378 --> 00:01:47,979
And a king that isn't a king.
53
00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:51,482
Well, I am done with you, too!
54
00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:57,856
Hello? [Chuckles]
55
00:01:57,857 --> 00:01:59,323
Hello?
56
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,229
Guess I'm eating breakfast by myself, then.
57
00:02:04,230 --> 00:02:05,964
"You can't do anything right, Richard.
58
00:02:05,965 --> 00:02:07,499
Everything's a disaster, Richard.
59
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:08,834
You've ruined my life, Richard.
60
00:02:08,835 --> 00:02:11,002
That's not a real dragon, Richard."
61
00:02:11,003 --> 00:02:12,371
Well, you know what?
62
00:02:12,372 --> 00:02:15,974
Galavant may not believe in you, but I do.
63
00:02:15,975 --> 00:02:18,910
I super believe in you, Tad Cooper.
64
00:02:18,911 --> 00:02:24,549
Hey, little fella, I know
just what you're thinkin'
65
00:02:24,550 --> 00:02:28,253
Nobody gets you
or sees what you could be
66
00:02:28,254 --> 00:02:29,688
Ah-ah-ah
67
00:02:29,689 --> 00:02:32,591
But pluck up your courage
and turn that frown up
68
00:02:32,592 --> 00:02:35,327
Soon we will eat this entire town up
69
00:02:35,328 --> 00:02:38,964
Then they'll believe
in my dragon pal and me
70
00:02:38,965 --> 00:02:41,099
Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo doo doo doo
71
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:43,168
Doo-doo, doo-doo, dragon pal
72
00:02:43,169 --> 00:02:44,569
That's right, little fella
73
00:02:44,570 --> 00:02:48,039
We'll leave those doubters blinkin'
74
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,977
We're gonna show 'em
a thing or two or three
75
00:02:51,978 --> 00:02:53,712
Show 'em a thing or two
76
00:02:53,713 --> 00:02:56,581
Imagine the wonder that we'll inspire
77
00:02:56,582 --> 00:02:59,384
When we are setting their heads on fire
78
00:02:59,385 --> 00:03:02,621
Then we'll be even,
my dragon pal and me
79
00:03:02,622 --> 00:03:04,356
Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo doo
Yes.
80
00:03:04,357 --> 00:03:06,324
We'll rise up
81
00:03:06,325 --> 00:03:08,960
And open their eyes up
82
00:03:08,961 --> 00:03:11,263
We'll light the skies up
83
00:03:11,264 --> 00:03:15,333
And rain destruction and death
on their wives and kids
84
00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:17,736
Raar! Raar! "Aah!"
85
00:03:17,737 --> 00:03:21,773
So, when, little fella,
you feel your heart is sinkin'
86
00:03:21,774 --> 00:03:23,575
When your feel your heart is sinkin'
87
00:03:23,576 --> 00:03:26,478
Just you remember, one day,
we'll make them see
88
00:03:26,479 --> 00:03:28,413
Then they'll see
89
00:03:28,414 --> 00:03:31,249
And when they are watching,
completely flipped out
90
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:33,885
As their intestines
are being ripped out
91
00:03:33,886 --> 00:03:37,656
They'll all look up to us,
then I guarantee
92
00:03:37,657 --> 00:03:39,324
Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh
93
00:03:39,325 --> 00:03:42,461
Then they'll believe
in my dragon pal and me
94
00:03:42,462 --> 00:03:44,095
Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo doo doo doo
95
00:03:44,096 --> 00:03:46,264
They'll believe in me
96
00:03:46,265 --> 00:03:50,668
They'll believe in...Me
97
00:03:52,738 --> 00:03:54,973
[Men grumble]
98
00:03:54,974 --> 00:03:58,343
I must warn you... I have a dragon.
99
00:03:58,344 --> 00:04:00,650
Galavant S02E05
Giants vs. Dwarves
100
00:04:00,651 --> 00:04:02,385
sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
101
00:04:03,468 --> 00:04:05,169
It's a bold tablecloth choice,
102
00:04:05,170 --> 00:04:08,236
but eggplant is going to be the "it" color
103
00:04:08,238 --> 00:04:09,472
this wedding season.
104
00:04:09,473 --> 00:04:10,740
Wonderful.
105
00:04:10,741 --> 00:04:12,709
Eggplant. So me.
106
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,578
Oh, I'm ever so excited
about my special day.
107
00:04:15,579 --> 00:04:16,679
Aww.
108
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:17,747
Barry...
109
00:04:17,748 --> 00:04:20,849
Place the order.
110
00:04:21,952 --> 00:04:24,821
My plan is working to perfection.
111
00:04:24,822 --> 00:04:25,822
It appears so, sir.
112
00:04:25,823 --> 00:04:27,357
Once Isabella becomes queen,
113
00:04:27,358 --> 00:04:29,992
you will be the most powerful
man in all of Hortensia.
114
00:04:29,993 --> 00:04:31,060
No.
115
00:04:31,061 --> 00:04:34,897
Why, the wedding plan, you twit.
116
00:04:34,898 --> 00:04:37,834
Do you think I'd discuss
the evil plans so publicly?
117
00:04:37,835 --> 00:04:39,669
This is why I thought we agreed
118
00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,904
to call one "the plan"
and the other "the plot"
119
00:04:41,905 --> 00:04:43,506
to avoid these kind of mix-ups.
120
00:04:43,507 --> 00:04:48,378
Barry, what is so hard to understand?
121
00:04:48,379 --> 00:04:50,146
We have two plans, right?
122
00:04:50,147 --> 00:04:51,681
One's evil and the other...
123
00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:54,784
Sorry. [Chuckles] Moving on.
124
00:04:54,785 --> 00:04:57,587
Um, we have a serious issue to discuss.
125
00:04:57,588 --> 00:05:01,958
We've had most of the RSVPs,
except a Princess Jubilee.
126
00:05:01,959 --> 00:05:03,626
I need to know if she's coming.
127
00:05:03,627 --> 00:05:06,095
Just mark her as a "yes"
and order the steak.
128
00:05:06,096 --> 00:05:07,964
I'm not paying, so I don't care.
129
00:05:07,965 --> 00:05:09,866
Really?
130
00:05:09,867 --> 00:05:11,601
Well, I do care, sir.
131
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:12,668
[Fingers snap]
132
00:05:12,669 --> 00:05:14,771
Barry, go on. Tell them the mirror idea.
133
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:17,874
He's going to hand-draw each guest's name
134
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:20,609
and table number on a fancy mirror.
135
00:05:22,146 --> 00:05:24,680
Way to undersell it, Barry.
136
00:05:24,681 --> 00:05:26,816
It's a masterstroke.
137
00:05:26,817 --> 00:05:28,718
It's both functional and a work of art,
138
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:31,521
but it'll all be for naught if
the guest list isn't finalized.
139
00:05:31,522 --> 00:05:33,389
Why don't you just make place cards?
140
00:05:33,390 --> 00:05:35,691
Place cards? Place cards?
141
00:05:35,692 --> 00:05:39,028
Madam, am I planning a royal
wedding or a medical convention?
142
00:05:39,029 --> 00:05:42,498
Isabella, you think my mirror
is a good idea, don't you?
143
00:05:42,499 --> 00:05:46,736
Oh, yes. It's a masterstroke.
144
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:50,239
Okay, Mr. Wormwood, I don't know
what you're up to,
145
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,775
but my daughter has been
acting very strangely
146
00:05:52,776 --> 00:05:55,077
since you arrived, and I have had enough.
147
00:05:55,078 --> 00:05:57,747
Isabella, seems your mother
148
00:05:57,748 --> 00:05:59,649
doesn't want your wedding to be perfect.
149
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,017
Perhaps she should be somewhere else.
150
00:06:01,018 --> 00:06:04,921
You know, somewhere secure...
And damp. Hmm?
151
00:06:04,922 --> 00:06:07,323
Somewhere dungeonesque? A dungeon?
152
00:06:07,324 --> 00:06:10,626
Send her to the dungeon
153
00:06:10,627 --> 00:06:12,662
Send her to the dungeon!
154
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:15,031
No one ruins my special day.
155
00:06:15,032 --> 00:06:16,098
Guards!
156
00:06:16,099 --> 00:06:17,667
Guard: I hate the dungeon.
157
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,602
Oh, isn't it lovely to be
working with a client
158
00:06:19,603 --> 00:06:21,604
who just...
159
00:06:21,605 --> 00:06:24,240
Gets it?
160
00:06:24,241 --> 00:06:26,476
161
00:06:26,477 --> 00:06:27,643
[Thuds]
162
00:06:27,644 --> 00:06:29,412
Andre: [Echoing] Who goes there?
163
00:06:29,413 --> 00:06:32,381
Oh, thank goodness. Giants.
164
00:06:32,382 --> 00:06:34,183
I've been looking for you everywhere!
165
00:06:34,184 --> 00:06:36,452
State your business, wee man.
166
00:06:36,453 --> 00:06:38,454
I'm Galavant.
167
00:06:38,455 --> 00:06:39,789
I need an army,
168
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,023
and I'm told your people
169
00:06:41,024 --> 00:06:43,292
are among the fiercest warriors
in the land.
170
00:06:43,293 --> 00:06:44,794
"Among"?
171
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,529
We are giants,
172
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:48,331
with fists the size of pumpkins.
173
00:06:48,332 --> 00:06:49,198
Pumpkins, good.
174
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:50,199
And heads so big,
175
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,300
they blot out the sun.
176
00:06:51,301 --> 00:06:52,235
Perfect.
177
00:06:52,236 --> 00:06:54,303
You've come to the right place.
178
00:06:54,304 --> 00:06:56,005
'Cause we love a good war.
Don't we, fellas?
179
00:06:56,006 --> 00:06:57,139
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
180
00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:58,474
Hush!
181
00:06:58,475 --> 00:07:01,244
Titan, Colossus, pull him out of there!
182
00:07:01,245 --> 00:07:02,712
[Footstep thuds]
183
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,013
[Grunts]
184
00:07:04,014 --> 00:07:05,781
This is great. Thank you so much.
185
00:07:05,782 --> 00:07:07,450
Hi. Galavant.
186
00:07:07,451 --> 00:07:08,518
I'm...
187
00:07:08,519 --> 00:07:09,751
Hello.
188
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,022
I'm so sorry.
189
00:07:13,023 --> 00:07:15,324
Aren't you supposed to be...Taller?
190
00:07:15,325 --> 00:07:16,692
I mean, not to be rude,
191
00:07:16,693 --> 00:07:19,161
but you did say that your heads
blocked out the sun.
192
00:07:19,162 --> 00:07:21,230
Yes, they do block out the sun.
193
00:07:21,231 --> 00:07:22,832
You've got to catch it at the right angle.
194
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,267
Sorry. Can I, uh, just...
195
00:07:24,268 --> 00:07:25,268
Here?
196
00:07:25,269 --> 00:07:27,637
Uh...There.
197
00:07:27,638 --> 00:07:30,072
Complete darkness.
198
00:07:30,073 --> 00:07:31,140
Mm.
199
00:07:31,141 --> 00:07:32,909
Are you sure that you're Giants?
200
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,611
Of course we are giants.
201
00:07:35,612 --> 00:07:37,480
Just very short giants is all.
202
00:07:37,481 --> 00:07:39,448
- Fee fie fo fum.
- Yeah.
203
00:07:39,449 --> 00:07:40,816
Well said, Titan.
204
00:07:40,817 --> 00:07:43,252
We will join you on your quest...
205
00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:44,587
On one condition.
206
00:07:44,588 --> 00:07:46,522
There's always a condition. Yeah. Go on.
207
00:07:46,523 --> 00:07:48,057
You must prove your loyalty
208
00:07:48,058 --> 00:07:51,360
by helping us fight our most hated enemy...
209
00:07:51,361 --> 00:07:52,862
- The Dwarves!
- Yeah!
210
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:56,432
Stinkin', tiny, awful,
high-pitched-voiced Dwarves.
211
00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:57,466
Right again, Titan.
212
00:07:57,467 --> 00:08:00,403
Tonight, we meet to set
the rules of battle,
213
00:08:00,404 --> 00:08:02,505
and tomorrow, we fight.
214
00:08:02,506 --> 00:08:04,407
So, what do you say?
215
00:08:04,408 --> 00:08:05,975
It shouldn't take long.
216
00:08:05,976 --> 00:08:07,710
They're only very small.
217
00:08:07,711 --> 00:08:08,644
[Laughter]
218
00:08:08,645 --> 00:08:10,713
Stop laughing!
219
00:08:10,714 --> 00:08:12,281
Yeah. Why not? I'm desperate.
220
00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:13,182
Let's do this.
221
00:08:13,183 --> 00:08:14,784
[All cheer]
222
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:18,054
223
00:08:18,055 --> 00:08:20,056
There's something different
about you lately.
224
00:08:20,057 --> 00:08:22,792
I mean, you've only punched
a couple of people today,
225
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:26,762
and I know it sounds crazy,
but I feel like you took a bath.
226
00:08:26,763 --> 00:08:27,997
What's going on?
227
00:08:27,998 --> 00:08:30,366
All right, I'll tell you.
I think I'm in love.
228
00:08:30,367 --> 00:08:32,301
Oh, Gareth, that's wonderful.
229
00:08:32,302 --> 00:08:33,803
Is it the executioner's daughter?
230
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:34,971
You know, the one who hangs on their legs
231
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,105
if the noose doesn't quite do the trick.
232
00:08:36,106 --> 00:08:37,707
- Loretta?
- Yeah.
233
00:08:37,708 --> 00:08:38,874
She is something.
234
00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:40,209
Heavy as an iron pot.
235
00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:43,646
But she don't compare to my girl.
236
00:08:43,647 --> 00:08:45,648
There she is.
237
00:08:45,649 --> 00:08:47,516
[Bird chirps]
238
00:08:47,517 --> 00:08:49,585
Hey, Gar!
239
00:08:49,586 --> 00:08:51,854
Thanks again for the flowers.
240
00:08:51,855 --> 00:08:53,289
Queen Madalena?
241
00:08:53,290 --> 00:08:55,424
But we agreed she's the worst!
242
00:08:55,425 --> 00:08:57,492
Yeah.
243
00:09:01,331 --> 00:09:03,065
[Sighs]
244
00:09:03,066 --> 00:09:05,768
245
00:09:05,769 --> 00:09:08,004
The Dwarves approach!
246
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,438
Oy, all right, lads.
247
00:09:09,439 --> 00:09:11,507
Remember, keep your cool.
248
00:09:11,508 --> 00:09:13,175
This is just a pre-fight meeting.
249
00:09:13,176 --> 00:09:14,877
We save the killing for tomorrow.
250
00:09:14,878 --> 00:09:15,911
[Growling] Yeah.
251
00:09:15,912 --> 00:09:17,213
Do you mind if I just ask
252
00:09:17,214 --> 00:09:19,248
what started the feud with the Dwarves?
253
00:09:19,249 --> 00:09:20,416
[Giants grumble]
254
00:09:20,417 --> 00:09:22,118
Must you grumble every time
I saw "Dwarves"?
255
00:09:22,119 --> 00:09:23,753
[Giants grumble louder]
256
00:09:23,754 --> 00:09:25,187
Give it a rest!
257
00:09:25,188 --> 00:09:27,990
Started generations ago.
258
00:09:27,991 --> 00:09:31,260
We were building a bridge
to unite our two peoples...
259
00:09:31,261 --> 00:09:34,230
Half by us and half by them.
260
00:09:34,231 --> 00:09:36,666
When the day came to unveil the bridge,
261
00:09:36,667 --> 00:09:39,802
they had built their side too low.
262
00:09:39,803 --> 00:09:41,971
And those whiny little bitches
263
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:45,041
blamed us for building our side too high.
264
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:47,410
We have been at war ever since.
265
00:09:47,411 --> 00:09:49,145
[Dwarves grumbling]
266
00:09:49,146 --> 00:09:51,746
Oh, come on.
267
00:09:54,818 --> 00:09:55,918
These aren't dwarves.
268
00:09:55,919 --> 00:09:58,287
We are, too. We're very tall dwarves.
269
00:09:58,288 --> 00:09:59,522
Oh, you've got to be kidding.
270
00:09:59,523 --> 00:10:00,990
Look at their hideous little bodies.
271
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:01,924
[Giants chortle]
272
00:10:01,925 --> 00:10:03,125
Hideous?
273
00:10:03,126 --> 00:10:05,194
You are the same height!
274
00:10:05,195 --> 00:10:06,862
You could literally be brothers.
275
00:10:06,863 --> 00:10:10,499
Spoken like a true giant.
276
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:13,234
A giant jerkface, that is.
277
00:10:16,573 --> 00:10:18,189
Hello, Galavant.
278
00:10:18,190 --> 00:10:19,524
You're looking well.
279
00:10:19,525 --> 00:10:21,459
I saw you this morning, you idiot.
280
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:22,994
I thought I got rid of you.
281
00:10:22,995 --> 00:10:24,729
You thought wrong, then, didn't you?
282
00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:26,664
It's fitting to see you take up
with the Giants,
283
00:10:26,665 --> 00:10:29,033
considering you're a humongous blowhard.
284
00:10:29,034 --> 00:10:31,135
[Laughter and cheering]
285
00:10:31,136 --> 00:10:33,004
Well, then, I think it's rather fitting
286
00:10:33,005 --> 00:10:34,839
that you've fallen in with the Dwarves,
287
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,208
considering you've been of
little use to me.
288
00:10:37,209 --> 00:10:38,943
[Giants cheering] Oh, no, he didn't!
289
00:10:38,944 --> 00:10:41,612
Forget the meeting! Let's go now!
290
00:10:41,613 --> 00:10:42,714
[All shouting]
291
00:10:42,715 --> 00:10:45,049
Stop!
292
00:10:45,050 --> 00:10:47,084
Guys, a word?
293
00:10:50,889 --> 00:10:52,390
What the hell is going on?
294
00:10:52,391 --> 00:10:53,458
You desert me at camp,
295
00:10:53,459 --> 00:10:55,059
I spend the whole day tracking you,
296
00:10:55,060 --> 00:10:56,894
only to find you're about to join a battle
297
00:10:56,895 --> 00:11:00,198
between two groups of
very similar 5'10" men.
298
00:11:00,199 --> 00:11:01,332
He lost the Jewel of Valencia!
299
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:02,500
He doesn't believe in my dragon!
300
00:11:02,501 --> 00:11:04,101
Wait. Wh... dragon? [Scoffs]
301
00:11:06,238 --> 00:11:07,939
I'm... I'm sorry, that's...Not a lizard?
302
00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:10,141
Don't. Not you, too.
303
00:11:10,142 --> 00:11:12,276
Look, my point is, these guys
seem really serious
304
00:11:12,277 --> 00:11:13,377
about killing each other.
305
00:11:13,378 --> 00:11:15,847
Don't you see how ridiculous this is?
306
00:11:15,848 --> 00:11:18,549
Do you really want to die...
307
00:11:18,550 --> 00:11:20,917
In a battle this ludicrous?
308
00:11:22,621 --> 00:11:24,555
If it gives me a shot at Richard, yes.
309
00:11:24,556 --> 00:11:25,957
Ditto, big boy!
310
00:11:25,958 --> 00:11:27,391
Let's go to war!
311
00:11:27,392 --> 00:11:30,528
Tomorrow, we fight...
Giants versus Dwarves.
312
00:11:30,529 --> 00:11:31,662
[All shouting]
313
00:11:31,663 --> 00:11:34,598
Billy, Billy. Billy,
you're a giant. Come on.
314
00:11:38,437 --> 00:11:41,672
So, hey, have you, um... By any chance
315
00:11:41,673 --> 00:11:43,808
told Queen Madalena how you feel about her?
316
00:11:43,809 --> 00:11:45,710
Gonna do it tonight.
317
00:11:45,711 --> 00:11:47,145
Great.
318
00:11:47,146 --> 00:11:50,548
Or... and just thinking out loud here...
319
00:11:50,549 --> 00:11:52,283
What i... What if you don't?
320
00:11:52,284 --> 00:11:54,085
What are you trying to say?
321
00:11:54,086 --> 00:11:56,821
There's something I need to say,
but before I do,
322
00:11:56,822 --> 00:11:58,990
have you ever heard of the Bro Code?
323
00:11:58,991 --> 00:12:01,559
Is that a black thing?
324
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:05,229
It means, "what's said between
guys stays between guys."
325
00:12:05,231 --> 00:12:08,233
Look, don't fall in love with the queen.
326
00:12:08,233 --> 00:12:09,834
She's bad news.
327
00:12:09,835 --> 00:12:11,769
Think about her last three relationships.
328
00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:15,273
They ended in betrayal, exile, and murder.
329
00:12:15,274 --> 00:12:18,843
She will rip your heart out,
and I don't mean symbolically.
330
00:12:18,844 --> 00:12:20,545
[Sighs]
331
00:12:20,546 --> 00:12:22,880
Yeah, you're right.
332
00:12:22,881 --> 00:12:25,850
But she's so skinny and mean.
333
00:12:25,851 --> 00:12:28,019
Just blinded me.
334
00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:29,821
Thanks for having my back.
335
00:12:29,822 --> 00:12:33,024
Hey, it's what friends are for.
336
00:12:33,025 --> 00:12:34,759
Friends? You think we're friends?
337
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,562
Well, I'm a little worried that
if I give you the wrong answer,
338
00:12:37,563 --> 00:12:40,064
you'll kill me right where I sit, but...
339
00:12:40,065 --> 00:12:42,767
Yeah, I've come to consider you a friend.
340
00:12:42,768 --> 00:12:44,769
Well, to friends, then.
341
00:12:44,770 --> 00:12:46,437
[Chuckles nervously]
342
00:12:46,438 --> 00:12:50,174
343
00:12:50,175 --> 00:12:54,978
I present Princess Isabella of Hortensia!
344
00:12:57,683 --> 00:12:58,883
Oh. [Chuckles]
345
00:12:58,884 --> 00:13:00,184
I-I'm sorry.
346
00:13:00,185 --> 00:13:02,453
I'm looking for a Princess.
347
00:13:02,454 --> 00:13:03,621
Princess Jubilee?
348
00:13:03,622 --> 00:13:04,688
And you found her.
349
00:13:06,825 --> 00:13:09,360
How's it hanging?
350
00:13:09,361 --> 00:13:11,596
[Chuckles nervously] Hello.
351
00:13:11,597 --> 00:13:14,031
My wedding planner asked me to find out
352
00:13:14,032 --> 00:13:17,268
why you haven't RSVP'd
to my fabulous wedding.
353
00:13:17,269 --> 00:13:19,804
And why would I want to do that?
354
00:13:19,805 --> 00:13:22,806
Because it's a wedding
and we're princesses?
355
00:13:23,976 --> 00:13:26,510
[Laughter]
356
00:13:26,511 --> 00:13:31,649
Oh, honey, wake up and smell
my unshaved armpit.
357
00:13:31,650 --> 00:13:34,218
[Wicked laughter]
358
00:13:34,219 --> 00:13:36,920
359
00:13:39,491 --> 00:13:42,493
I like to eat meat
360
00:13:42,494 --> 00:13:44,128
Swill booze
361
00:13:44,129 --> 00:13:46,697
Wake up with brand-new tattoos
362
00:13:46,698 --> 00:13:48,933
I like to talk loud
363
00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:50,501
Play rough
364
00:13:50,502 --> 00:13:53,738
I ain't got time
for that girly-girl stuff
365
00:13:53,739 --> 00:13:55,706
I'm a different kind of princess
366
00:13:55,707 --> 00:13:57,341
Can't you see?
367
00:13:57,342 --> 00:14:00,511
I don't lift my pinkie
when I'm sippin' tea
368
00:14:00,512 --> 00:14:02,313
I'm a different kind of princess
369
00:14:02,314 --> 00:14:04,248
Got no class
370
00:14:04,249 --> 00:14:06,584
And if you don't like it, kiss my
371
00:14:06,585 --> 00:14:11,022
Royal a-a-a-a-a-ass
372
00:14:11,023 --> 00:14:13,457
Princess, that's not very ladylike.
373
00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:17,061
Oh, from what I've heard,
you didn't used to be, either.
374
00:14:17,062 --> 00:14:19,797
I like to live fast
375
00:14:19,798 --> 00:14:21,332
Make noise
376
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:24,068
Swap spit with both girls and boys
377
00:14:24,069 --> 00:14:26,103
I like to start fights
378
00:14:26,104 --> 00:14:27,738
Make a big mess
379
00:14:27,739 --> 00:14:30,908
But this is one damsel
who ain't in distress
380
00:14:30,909 --> 00:14:33,044
I'm a different kind of Princess
381
00:14:33,045 --> 00:14:34,478
Don't you think?
382
00:14:34,479 --> 00:14:37,782
I don't wear glitter,
and I don't like pink
383
00:14:37,783 --> 00:14:39,617
I'm a different kind of princess
384
00:14:39,618 --> 00:14:41,185
Got no gown
385
00:14:41,186 --> 00:14:47,959
But that ain't stoppin' anyone
from bowin' do-o-o-o-wn
386
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,094
I'm a different kind of princess
387
00:14:50,095 --> 00:14:51,362
No one's fool
388
00:14:51,363 --> 00:14:53,230
And if you're my kind of princess
389
00:14:53,231 --> 00:14:54,865
Be that kind of princess
390
00:14:54,866 --> 00:14:57,200
Free your inner princess
391
00:14:59,538 --> 00:15:01,572
[Belches]
392
00:15:01,573 --> 00:15:07,211
And you will ru-u-u-u-u-u-le
393
00:15:07,212 --> 00:15:08,346
What happened to me?
394
00:15:08,347 --> 00:15:10,448
Ohh. Where am I?
395
00:15:10,449 --> 00:15:11,682
[Laughs wickedly]
396
00:15:11,683 --> 00:15:12,749
Oh, wow.
397
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,176
[Whistling]
398
00:15:18,177 --> 00:15:20,945
[Fingers snapping]
399
00:15:20,946 --> 00:15:22,614
[Whistling continues]
400
00:15:23,815 --> 00:15:26,822
Let's go and pop a few Giants
401
00:15:26,918 --> 00:15:29,953
Kick some Gargantuan butt
402
00:15:29,954 --> 00:15:32,789
Hack out those huge knobby kneecaps
403
00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:35,592
And make them keep
their big mouths shut
404
00:15:35,593 --> 00:15:37,561
Someone
405
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:41,732
Has got to cut them down to size
406
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,734
Someone
407
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:46,169
And we're the ones who will climb them
408
00:15:46,170 --> 00:15:47,938
And slap their fat faces
409
00:15:47,939 --> 00:15:50,707
Let's mess a whole bunch of Dwarves up
410
00:15:50,708 --> 00:15:53,677
Stomp on those wee little tots
411
00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:56,413
Laugh at their wee little biceps
412
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:59,783
And itsy-bitsy you-know-whats
413
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:01,752
Someone
414
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:05,756
Should punch their beady little eyes
415
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,657
Someone
416
00:16:07,658 --> 00:16:09,926
When we're done squishing the runts
417
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,062
There won't be any traces
418
00:16:12,063 --> 00:16:14,831
Listen, people
419
00:16:14,832 --> 00:16:17,901
There's no need to fight
420
00:16:17,902 --> 00:16:20,137
Holy freakin' cow
421
00:16:20,138 --> 00:16:23,707
You're the same damn height
422
00:16:23,708 --> 00:16:26,676
Dwarf or Giant
423
00:16:26,677 --> 00:16:29,813
Both will die tonight
424
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:36,153
There must be a way
I can make things right
425
00:16:36,154 --> 00:16:39,056
-
It's time to finish the Dwarves off
-
It's time to take down the Giants
426
00:16:39,057 --> 00:16:41,792
There's no need to fight
427
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:45,562
-
Rip out their teeth and their eardrums
-
Kidneys and tonsils and livers
428
00:16:45,563 --> 00:16:47,364
You're the same damn height
429
00:16:47,365 --> 00:16:50,233
-
Gonna cream those Giants
-
Dwarves
430
00:16:50,234 --> 00:16:53,503
-
We really, really hate those guys
-
You're just the same
431
00:16:53,504 --> 00:16:56,273
-
Really hate those Giants
-
Dwarves
432
00:16:56,274 --> 00:17:00,077
Let's put 'em in their places
433
00:17:00,078 --> 00:17:02,813
I'm gonna kill me a Giant
434
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,081
Bring it
435
00:17:04,082 --> 00:17:05,649
[Whistles]
436
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,883
You dwarf
437
00:17:06,884 --> 00:17:08,784
[All shouting]
438
00:17:12,356 --> 00:17:13,757
Take that, you dwarf!
439
00:17:13,758 --> 00:17:15,092
I'm a Giant!
440
00:17:15,093 --> 00:17:15,959
Oh, sorry, sorry.
441
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,127
Yaah!
442
00:17:17,128 --> 00:17:18,295
Ohh! What the... I'm a Dwarf!
443
00:17:18,296 --> 00:17:19,429
Oh. My bad.
444
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:22,332
[Shouting continues]
445
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:25,534
Everyone... time-out!
446
00:17:27,705 --> 00:17:30,606
Show of hands... Who here's a Dwarf?
447
00:17:31,776 --> 00:17:34,377
Right. And who's a Giant?
448
00:17:34,378 --> 00:17:35,679
[Body thuds]
449
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,280
Well, this isn't going to work.
450
00:17:37,281 --> 00:17:40,650
Okay, okay. Let's go shirts and skins.
451
00:17:40,651 --> 00:17:42,953
[Horse whinnies]
452
00:17:42,954 --> 00:17:45,222
[Crashing]
453
00:17:45,223 --> 00:17:46,523
Roberta, what are you doing?
454
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:47,724
Fixing the bridge.
455
00:17:47,725 --> 00:17:49,526
You're fighting over nothing.
456
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:50,794
[Horse nickers]
457
00:17:50,795 --> 00:17:52,796
You've been so busy arguing
this whole journey
458
00:17:52,797 --> 00:17:55,031
that you can't see that you
actually need each other.
459
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,300
Ha! Please. I do not need him.
460
00:17:57,301 --> 00:17:59,970
What's been your sole purpose
this entire time, huh?
461
00:17:59,971 --> 00:18:02,706
Been trying to rouse an army
to rescue Isabella.
462
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,307
Mm. And how many men have you
got to join your quest?
463
00:18:07,011 --> 00:18:08,178
One.
464
00:18:08,179 --> 00:18:09,312
You got someone to join you?
465
00:18:09,313 --> 00:18:10,347
Who is it? Do I know him?
466
00:18:10,348 --> 00:18:13,049
You, Richard. She's talking about you.
467
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,851
Oh.
468
00:18:14,852 --> 00:18:16,520
[Sighs] Roberta's right.
469
00:18:16,521 --> 00:18:18,989
I'm sorry. I've been using
so many horrible words
470
00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:20,657
to describe you that...
471
00:18:20,658 --> 00:18:22,759
I've forgotten the one
that describes you best.
472
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:23,860
"Musky"?
473
00:18:23,861 --> 00:18:25,661
Loyal.
474
00:18:28,299 --> 00:18:29,766
Forgive me.
475
00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:31,768
Rejoin my quest.
476
00:18:31,769 --> 00:18:33,970
It would be my honor.
477
00:18:33,971 --> 00:18:36,673
But first, I must ask...
478
00:18:36,674 --> 00:18:41,077
Do you believe that Tad Cooper
is actually a dragon?
479
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,179
[Sighs]
480
00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:43,647
I believe...
481
00:18:43,648 --> 00:18:45,782
You believe he is.
482
00:18:45,783 --> 00:18:48,285
I knew it. Do you hear that?
483
00:18:48,286 --> 00:18:49,920
He believes in us, Tad Cooper.
484
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:52,255
Right, well, now all the fighting's over,
485
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,024
off to Hortensia.
486
00:18:54,025 --> 00:18:56,226
Actually, I think we need to bow out.
487
00:18:56,227 --> 00:18:57,861
Before we do any more fighting,
488
00:18:57,862 --> 00:19:00,596
I think there's a certain bridge
that needs our attention.
489
00:19:02,033 --> 00:19:03,533
What say you, Giant?
490
00:19:03,534 --> 00:19:05,535
Right you are, Dwarf.
491
00:19:05,536 --> 00:19:07,637
Right you are.
492
00:19:07,638 --> 00:19:10,540
Now, give me that little hand of yours.
493
00:19:10,541 --> 00:19:12,375
[All cheering]
494
00:19:12,376 --> 00:19:15,544
495
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:18,982
Hey, there, friend.
496
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:21,284
Got a pair of tickets to tonight's joust.
497
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,887
Third row. Want to go?
498
00:19:23,888 --> 00:19:25,889
Last time I sat there, I caught a tooth...
499
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:27,190
And I still have it.
500
00:19:27,191 --> 00:19:28,458
No, thanks.
501
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:29,559
But you love violence.
502
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,794
Yeah, I know, but I think
503
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,362
it'd be better if you went without me.
504
00:19:32,363 --> 00:19:33,897
You should go right now.
505
00:19:33,898 --> 00:19:35,131
Madalena: Is it him?
506
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,065
Aw, crap.
507
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,603
My Queen.
508
00:19:39,604 --> 00:19:41,137
Oh, don't you "My Queen" me.
509
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,173
I'm bad news, am I?
510
00:19:43,174 --> 00:19:44,741
You told her what I said.
511
00:19:44,742 --> 00:19:46,009
Only that little bit.
512
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:47,510
I'll rip his heart out,
513
00:19:47,511 --> 00:19:49,746
and you don't mean symbolically?
514
00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:51,081
Okay, I told her the whole thing.
515
00:19:51,082 --> 00:19:52,682
I'm more "shrew" than woman?
516
00:19:52,683 --> 00:19:54,017
And I made some stuff up.
517
00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:55,785
What about the Bro Code?!
518
00:19:55,786 --> 00:19:57,654
I know!
519
00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,089
I'm starting to really like her.
520
00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:00,991
And she's super-pretty.
521
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:03,159
We just started talking and...
I think you better run.
522
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,860
Guards! Kill him.
523
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:15,104
Turns out I like you, too.
524
00:20:24,282 --> 00:20:26,249
Hey, there, old buddy
525
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:29,084
You know what I believe in?
526
00:20:30,321 --> 00:20:32,589
I think we're gonna pull through
527
00:20:32,590 --> 00:20:33,690
Me too
528
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,557
Me three
529
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:43,800
Yes, I believe something
might just have started
530
00:20:43,801 --> 00:20:48,837
And I believe I'll be joining
the dear departed
531
00:20:50,608 --> 00:20:54,643
And I believe I have
a wedding planner to see
532
00:20:56,981 --> 00:21:00,016
Better believe it
533
00:21:00,017 --> 00:21:01,750
His ass belongs to me.
534
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:06,350
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